OMG! I’m writing another blog? I AM writing another blog. AHH!

I hope this isn’t shocking to you. Me writing another blog. If it is, listen – I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I like to write words. A lot of words. Look at all these words. Words. Words. Words. You see that last word? Dude. What a word! WORD! And, here you are, reading them. Whoa! That’s cool. For me, at least. It may be a lot of work for you. Reading. All. These. Words. Do you want me to go slower?

TYPE.

EACH.

WORD.

ON.

A.

SEPARATE.

LINE.

OH.

MY.

GOD.

THIS.

ISN’T.

ANNOYING.

JUST KIDDING.

IT.

IS.

OH.

GOD.

WHY.

AM.

I.

NOT.

STOPPING?

Good question! I ask myself all the good ones, don’t I? Another good one! Thanks? You’re… Welcome? Am I? Yes? Yes! Yes. Because I’m so good at asking myself questions, I’m going to make that the theme of this blog.

Y’see, as I write this, it’s the THREE YEAR anniversary of my FIRST trip to Japan. Left America on April 3, 2015 and arrived in Japan on April 4. Today, the day I’m writing this, is April 6. Like, whoa. This is a pretty big deal because my first trip to Japan is the reason why I’m here now. So I couldn’t be here now if I wasn’t here then. Are you following? Because I was here then, I’m here now. If I wasn’t here now, then I wouldn’t be here then. No? Wait. Um… If I wasn’t here then and I’m not here now, does that mean… I DON’T EXIST?!?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

But I’m here now, so it’s all good.

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Now that we’ve established I was here then and now, I’m going to interview myself about my first trip to Japan and how it influenced me to move here 3 years later. Let’s get into it!

Michael: Thanks for taking the time to speak with me, Michael.

Michael: Excuse me… And you are?

Michael: Me?

Michael: No, me!

Michael: Yes!

Michael: What?

Michael: Exactly.

Michael: Right on.

Michael: Glad we settled that.

Michael: Totes. Whoever you are.

Michael: …

Michael: My name is Mich-

Michael: ael.

Michael: Whoa! ARE YOU MISS CLEO?

Michael: Lol! So, me – tell us: Why did you decide to go to Japan in 2015?

Michael: Reasons.

Michael: Good answer.

Michael: Actually, that’s a terrible answer.

Michael: No shit, Sherlock.

Michael: My name is Michael.

Michael: I KNOW!

Michael: Lol! So I’ve always wanted to visit Japan, but I never had anyone to go with. So I put it off. And put it off. And put it off. And put it off. And put it off. And put it off. And…

Michael: Put it off?

Michael: HOW DID YOU KNOW? ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE NOT MISS CLEO?

Michael: …

Michael: So the catalyst to visit Japan came in 2014 when my friends and I went to Orlando to visit all 4 Disney parks (and the 2 Universal parks). It was during this trip I started researching the other Disney parks. In doing so, I discovered Japan had not just one, but TWO Disney parks. This was totally news to me. I thought Japan only had Tokyo Disneyland, so I was surprised to learn about Tokyo DisneySea. That meant Japan had ONE more park than one. Did you know how many parks that is?

Michael: Um, 2?

Michael: Hell if I know! I suck at math. All I knew was I needed to visit both. And that gave me ONE and whatever number is ABOVE one reasons to visit Japan.

Michael: So you wanted to visit Japan SOLEY to visit TWO Disney parks?

Michael: I swear you’re Miss Cleo.

Michael: Shut up!

Michael: I can’t shut up, but I can shut down.

Michael: I… I can’t even…

Michael: Do or do not, there is no can’t, uh, even?

Michael: Thanks, Yoda.

Michael: Michael!

Michael: And my name is Miss Cleo.

Michael: I KNEW IT!

Michael: Sigh… So you wanted to visit Japan to visit theme parks. What made you book the trip?

Michael: My friend Melissa yelled at me.

Michael: Oh, that makes sense.

Michael: Totes. I was talking to her on the shuttle home from work about how I wanted to visit Japan, but I didn’t have anyone to travel with. I tried to play the sympathy card, but she took my card, tore it up, and them threw it in my face.

Michael: Wow. Did she clean it up at least?

Michael: No. That card wasn’t real.

Michael: You don’t say?

Michael: I don’t? But I thought I just did? OMG! ARE YOU EVEN HEARING WHAT I’M SAYING?

Michael: No.

Michael. Phew! So, she played the blunt card and told me to quit my whining and book a trip to Japan so I could move there 3 years later and ditch that sorry-ass country called America.

Michael: Maybe she is Miss Cleo?

Michael: DUUUUUUUUUUDE!

Michael: DUDE!

Michael: DUUUUUUUUUUDE!

Michael: DUDE!

Michael: DUUUUUUUUUUDE!

Michael: DUDE?

Michael: DUUUUUUUUUUDE?

Michael: I dunno.

Michael: Me either. So I LITERALLY booked a flight the next day and the rest is history.

Michael: When you booked your flight, did you think you’d be LIVING in Japan 3 years later?

Michael: Uh, is my name Miss Cleo?

Michael: …

Michael: It’s not, btw. My name is Michael

Michael: SHUT UP!

Michael: I can’t shut up, but I can…

Michael: SHUT DOWN!

Michael: Whoa, dude – calm down.

Michael: So what were your first impressions of Japan when you arrived?

Michael: Everyone spoke Japanese! It was crazy.

Michael: No way!

Michael: Way! And everyone was Japanese, too.

Michael: Are you cereal?

Michael: Milk and bowl cereal.

Michael: Dude.

Michael: I loved it. I’ve always been fan of fish-out-of-water scenarios; I thrive when I’m forced to learn and adapt. Complacency is a cancer. Visiting Japan was life-changing. A whole new world…

Michael: A new fantastic point of view…

Michael: No one to tell us no…

Michael: Or where to go…

Michael: Or say we’re only dreaming. Only I wasn’t. I was living that shit. But, at the time, I honestly thought it WAS a dream. To live there, at least. I wasn’t even considering it.

Michael: Not even a little bit?

Michael: How little of a bit?

Michael: I dunno, like, smaller than a big bit?

Michael: Golf ball-sized bit?

Michael: I was thinking more racquet ball.

Michael: Oh, OK! Then, yeah – maybe a racquet ball-sized bit. I remember posting to Facebook the first night I was there and saying I loved it. Because I did. I knew I wanted to live here, but it was more a fleeting, unrequited love. Like wanting to marry a corgi.

Michael: Why don’t you marry a corgi?

Michael: Corgis.

Michael: Gotcha. So, looking back 3 years later, what do you think was your biggest takeaway?

Michael: Japanese people speak Japanese and eat Japanese food in Japan.

Michael: Holy crap.

Michael: Religious crap, indeed. That, and I can embrace being alone. Moreover, I can be independent. I spent my entire life wanting, wishing, and THINKING I needed a partner to enjoy myself, but I discovered that wasn’t the case. Partners are icing on the cake. I’m the cake.

Michael: What kind of cake are you?

Michael. Fun-muthafuckin’-fetti.

Michael: I should have known.

Michael: Way to kill your gimmick, Miss Cleo.

Michael: I hate you. Any closing thoughts?

Michael: I love you. My closing thoughts are this: It’s IMPERATIVE to get out of your comfort zone every now and then. Take a risk! Do something unexpected. My spur-of-the-moment vacation turned into a major life change that NEVER would have happened if I didn’t believe in myself. So embrace the unexpected.

Michael: Deep. Thanks for your time, Michael.

Michael: How did you know my name?

Miss Cleo: Well, the jig is up – I really AM Miss Cleo.

Michael: OMFG!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!