OMG! I’m writing another blog? I AM writing another blog. AHH!

And no one is reading it. Lol! It’s only funny because it’s true. Why do I even do this every week? I ask that question every Friday when I try to think about what I’m going to blabber about. And my answer is always this: “Corgis.” That’s my answer for everything. What should I do today? Corgis. How do balloons float? Corgis. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, can anyone hear you fart? Corgis. You can’t tell me corgis doesn’t answer all those questions sufficiently. And even if you can, I’ll respond back with this: “CARBBBBSSSSS!” Second best answer to any question. Corgi carbs? I can’t even. Only I can. And it involves a bucket of drool and perma heart-shaped eyes. And a one-way ticket to heaven. TAKE ME THERE!


Not until they install an elevator, though; ain’t nobody got time to climb those long-ass stairs. Until then, I’ll continue to yap to an empty void. Hello, no one! Nice to not hear from you. Speaking of hearing, the topic of my blog this week is listening. In particular, my insane dedication to listening to customer requests. Let’s get into it!

Picking Favorites 

Quick context: I moved to Japan. Did you… OF COURSE YOU KNEW THAT! Great! You’re learning. Pat yourself on the back. Not too hard, though – I ain’t risking getting sued. I know how litigious you Americans are! Or wherever you come from. Presuming I have readers in other countries. Which is silly because we’ve already established no one reads this. Wait… Then why I am writing this? Good question! Obvious answer: Corgis.


So you should also know this by now: I sell cute crap to people for my business. One of the unique things I do (besides write hilariously illegible “thank you” notes) is let people customize their mailers with their favorite characters. Almost everyone I hear back from do what you’d expect: respond with their favorite characters. Y’know? Stitch. Belle. Ariel. The owl from Sword in the Stone. Wait…WHO? I literally LOLed at that request. Not even Merlin the wizard could make merch magically appear for the RANDOM-ASS OWL from Sword in the Stone. Sorry, requester! Can’t help you with that one. But if I CAN help you, I’ll do my best. Case in point: the tale of the MERMAID SALT DRINK.

Fetch Quest 

Now it’s pretty common for me to get customers who order mailers for their girlfriend, fiancé, or wife. So sweet of them! Excuse me while I barf…


All better. So one guy was ordering a mailer for his partner and requested Little Mermaid stuff. That’s easy; she’s probably the 2nd most popular princess here in Japan behind Rapunzel. I was so confident. Yeah, yeah – I got this. Mermaid merch? Pfft. What else you want, I thought. The OWL from Sword in the Stone? Just kidding! Haha. Please god no…

Luckily, he didn’t request the OWL (phew!). Nope. He requested something even more obscure: Some random-ass Mermaid SALT drink they sell at Tokyo DisneySea. Uhh… OK? Apparently his partner REALLY loves this drink and craved it or something. Oh boy…

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Now normally I’d turn down hyper specific requests like this, but since I go to DisneySea every week (and it seemed easy enough to find), I said I’d look into it. And it seemed like it was a big deal for his partner, so I figured the little extra effort on my part would be worth it for them. Wait… Did I say “little” effort? Lol! My bad. Replace with “hilariously huge,” plz. Thank you!

Because the quest for this salt drink became COMEDY. It went like this:

  • Trip 1: Ask cast member for the drink. Cast membebr is crazy confused. Calls some folks. I wait. And wait. And wait. Finally was told they don’t sell it. Hmm… OK?
  • Trip 2: Ask another cast member. Tells me to go a shop that sells it. Only the shop doesn’t sell it. Hmm… OK?
  • Trip 3Ask another cast member. Tells me they DO sell it. But the shop closes at like 5pm. Hmm… OK?
  • Trip 4: Arrive before 5pm. Ask ONE LAST cast member. Tells me they no longer sell it. By this point, I’m sooooo ready to give up. FOUR trips in the span of FOUR weeks and nothing. So I’m looking at my phone to see what other stuff I need to buy and the cast member comes back to tell me, wait, they DO sell it. OMG! She points me in the right direction. I go in said direction. And sure enough, it DOES exist! AHHH! After I bought it, I thrust that shit straight in the air and, get this, the Zelda item jingle go played (do-do-do-dooooo!). At least it did in my head. I don’t think anyone else heard it. I base this belief after assessing the confused stares burning my soul. Really gotta get speakers for my internal audio…


Back to the cast membebr… She was AWESOME. First off, I knew RIGHT AWAY she could speak perfect English, mostly because she had a bit of a British accent (she studied in England). This was SUPER helpful because she was able to clearly explain to me where to find it (phew!). It’s funny, too, because I asked her where to find it in Japanese and she almost didn’t speak English to me because she said my Japanese sounded authentic. Hah! Fooled her!

But she was super, super nice. And she went out of her way to help me. So after I bought the drink, I was all ready to leave and go home. And as I was LITERALLY EXITING THE PARK, I stopped and thought, “Y’know, what? That lady was SO NICE… I should go back and thank her.” So I turned around and WENT BACK INTO PARK to go find her. Luckily, she was still at her post (about an hour later!) and I let her know how awesome she was for helping me. Because, seriously, she was. She seemed really grateful I thanked her. But, honestly, I was more grateful she helped me, because it meant my 4 week quest for a SALT DRINK wasn’t for naught. And it also meant I was going to make the day of a customer. And, at the end of the day, that’s ALL I care about. To celebrate, I snapped this selfie with her. One of my favorite memories since I’ve been here in Japan.

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  • Always try to go above and beyond what’s asked of you, even if it means visiting a theme park 4 different times in a row to get a SALT DRINK.
  • Always, always, ALWAYS go out of your way to thank someone who helps you out. It will not only make YOU feel good, but it will also make THEM feel good. Win-win!