OMG! I’m writing another blog? I AM writing another blog. AHH!
Oh yeah. The words? They’re coming. You ready for this shit? Prepare yourself. Strap on your seatbelt. Put on your helmet. Turn off the oven. Delete your browser history. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife. Cue “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine),” ’cause here they come:
Wow. I mean, wow. Shit. Wow. Shit-wow, wow. Shit. Wow-shit, wow, shit, shit-wow, shit. Wow.
So this week I was thinking about if I miss home. I mean, it’s been 6+ months since I moved to Japan. Surely, I miss it a little bit, right? Well, let’s find out.
Me: Michael, do you miss home?
Michael: I dunno, you ask me, me.
Me: I am, dumbass!
Michael: Oh! Lol. Ah, hell nah, dawg.
Me: Not even a little bit?
Michael: Nope. But I do conveniently miss 5 things.
Me: Wow! That’s just enough to write a blog.
Michael: A listicle, if you will.
Michael: Wow-shit, wow.
With that said, this week’s blog is gonna cover the 5 things I miss about ‘Murrica. Let’s get into it!
5. Dim Sum: I love Japanese food. A lot. I’d go as far as to say the food here is so good, I chew and swallow almost everything I eat. Sometimes I even burp, rub my tummy, and say, “TASTE BUDS BE DAMNED, THAT WAS SOME GOOD SUBSISTENCE!”
But there’s one thing that’s missing here in Japan: DIM SUM. Or at least good dim sum, especially like the kind found in my old neighborhood in San Francisco. In particular, I miss BBQ pork buns. I used to get one every weekend until I decided I wanted to be healthy and hate life. Now I love life again, and I’d love it even more if I could have a delicious pork bun again. Oh well. Now I get FIDDY sushi sets. Not a bad compromise.
4. Communication: Human contact. Speaking to someone face-to-face. In a language you both understand. Ain’t that great? I WOULDN’T KNOW! Because I hardly ever do it here. And that’s hard for a blabber mouth like me.
I’ve gotten used to it, of course. But it’s really weird going from talking to a bunch of people every day to literally not talking to anyone in English for WEEKS. I did pass a note with my contact info to a Disney Store employee. I met her 2-3 months ago; she speaks perfect English (used to live in America). Saw her a couple of times back-to-back, but didn’t have time to ask for her contact info. So I wrote her a little note with mine on it to give her the next time I saw her (so I wouldn’t take up her time). Well, of course, after I wrote that note, I NEVER SAW HER AGAIN. Until today. Yes, I’ve been carrying that note in my jacket pocket for MONTHS. Totally not weird or creepy at all. Yeah…
Do I think she’ll contact me? Prolly not. But it’s worth a shot. (UPDATE: No contact after a week. Wha-whaaaaa! Lol!). Honestly, I just want someone to talk to. That, and I’m planning something I’m hoping she can be part of. If I ever find the time to do it. Speaking of…
3. Free Time: I didn’t realize I missed FREE TIME until my business really started getting bonkers. Because the concept is something you take for granted. It’s not tangible. It’s not something you purchase. It’s not something you’re gifted. But it’s something you IMMEDIATELY notice you don’t have once you no longer have it.
Looking back, it’s crazy to think how much free time I had. There were some weekends where I was so depressed I’d get up, eat breakfast, take a nap, get up, work out, come home, and then nap again. Because I could. Now? Hah! My “free time” today consists of me watching Game of Thrones while I work. Because I can’t even enjoy a television show without multi-tasking. Speaking of, I just took a break from reading this blog, do a small bit of work. MULTI-TASK!
2. Board Games: Back home, I had a few hobbies: working out, wrestling bears, and playing board games. I still work out and wrestle bears here in Japan, but I don’t play board games anymore. And that makes me sad.
I mostly miss playing with my friend (and former boss) Shoe, partly because he’s an awesome dude, but mostly because he owns preposterous amount of board games. So much so, I almost always learned a new game every time I came over. Sometimes he even made me LEARN and TEACH one. What a dick. A smart dick. Maybe that’s why he always won. Damn youuuu, Shoe!
1. Boba: Balls. Sweet, sticky balls. In my mouth. Yes, that’s what I miss about ‘Murrica. Moving on!
Just kidding. Not about missing sweet, sticky balls in my mouth. That’s totally true. Because while there’s boba shops here in Japan, they’re not as good as the ones back home nor the ones I visited in Hong Kong and Shanghai.
Having said that, I have noticed boba grow in popularity since I first visited in 2015. Still, nothing compares to the Okinawa Milk Tea I used to get back home. Best way to describe it: LIQUID CRACK. Seriously, that shit was crazy addicting, so much so, I used to get it TWO TIMES a week. Back when I had disposable income. Man, to think I had enough money to suck up balls two times a week. And now I feel guilty getting a matcha green tea latte once a week. Sigh.
Well, that’s it. Thanks to the 2 people who read this blog!
Yay! A new blog post 🙂 You only miss five things about America? Although if I had to make a list it wouldn’t be long either . . . Yankee games, funnel cake and fat sandwiches.
Typically, when a guy gives me his contact information, I tend to wait a week or longer before contacting him. It’s some kind of unspoken rule . . . so maybe the Disney store employee will contact you.
Free time? I miss having it too. For example, should I be reading your blog and writing a reply right now? Nope. I should be writing my Graduate paper on Shakespeare’s Richard III. (Boring). Or doing research for the World War II historical romance that I’m writing. Definitely should not be watching Game of Thrones. When I do have free time, I don’t mind doing them solo. Although that may be because I have the whole shy/introverted personality.
I love board games. CLUE will always be my favorite. I like logic/strategy board games. There are a couple that I want to play, but can’t justify buying them.
I’ve never tried Boba. There is a small cafe in my town that sells it, but I never get the chance to go. Now that the tourist season is starting (my town is considered to be a mini New York City), I don’t have the patience to deal with tourists, traffic, or long lines.
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I don’t miss much because there was nothing left for me in that shit hole.
That woman isn’t going to contact me; I’ve seen her a couple of times since I gave her the note, but she’s been busy, so I didn’t wanna bug her. Whatevs.
Go write your paper!
Clue was my favorite, too, before I was introduced to a bunch of amazing ones. If you like Clue, check out Mysterium or Deception: Murder in Hong Kong.
Boba is the BEST. Legit only thing I miss.
Reader Number Two: Checking in!
You’re on your own board game card?! That’s epic. Do you have a fun story to accompany it?
Thanks for another funny blog post. I’m looking forward to adopting “That was some good subsistence” into my own daily life.
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Whoa! I have 2 readers? Daaaaaaamn, boiiiiiiiii!
Haha! Yeah, I got that card at Gen-Con, a big board game convention a few years ago. Basically, the game had a booth that would take your picture and make a card for you. I’m pretty sure I trashed it when I moved here. Now all I got is that memory!
“THAT WAS SOME GOOD SUBSISTENCE” is the new “THAT HIT THE SPOT!”
Thanks for reading!