More scheming. More death. More nonsense. Sounds like Game of Thrones alright. Let’s see how Season 6 plays out…

Recap:

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Season 6, Episode 1:

  • C-c-c-combo breaker: I miss the obligatory state-the-obvious dragon quote from the earlier seasons.
  • So the Fire Lady is an old hag? OK. Sure. Whatever you say.
  • Sooooooo glad Lady Knight found LOTR’s daughter. That scene was super touching. Lady Knight and Squire Boy are the best.
  • Looks like Hunger Girl-Boy is gonna turn into the Denzel Washington from The Book of Eli. Didn’t see that coming. Lulz.
  • I know they gotta create drama and all, but, uh, where did the dragon go? Kinda hard to lose a FRICKIN’ DRAGON.
  • I hope Not-Orlando-Bloom’s friend dudes get out safely. Same goes for Wolfy.

Episode 2:

  • Of course they bring Not-Orlando-Bloom back from the dead. OF COURSE. If we establish this is possible, WHY DON’T THEY JUST BRING EVERYONE BACK FROM THE DEAD? Oh, am I not supposed to ask that question? My bad.
  • Speaking of death, please kill Torture Dude. Just do it. Get it over with.
  • It’s sooo awkward how much Bum Legs has grown in-between seasons. Yet Hunger Girl-Boy looks exactly the same. Weird. ‘Bout time they brought him back, too! Only took 11 episodes.
  • Horny Willow’s reveal as a Dragon whisperer was unexpected. But I’ll buy it.
  • Judging by how many kings have died on this show since it started, I’m surprised people still fight to become one. If I lived in this universe, being king would be the LAST THING I’d wanna do.

Episode 3:

  • I watched this last night, but forgot to record my thoughts, so I forgot what happened. Hmm… Did they bring Not-Orland-Bloom back? *looks above* OK, they did that. Oh, that’s right – he executed the traitor team. Then walks off. You know he’s thinking, “Screw this storyline, I’m outta here!”
  • Chunk Dude all pukes on the ship. What’s with this show and showing people hurl multiple times? WE GET IT: THEY’RE BLOWING CHUNKS. No need to see it repeatedly.
  • Since my version doesn’t subtitle Dragon Lady speech in English, I have NO IDEA what’s going on with her. At all. Nor where her IMPOSSIBLE-TO-LOSE dragon is.
  • I guess there’s some weird It’s a Wonder Life shenanigans going on with Bum Legs. Not sure why. Other than to hammer home the “YOU CAN’T STAY IN THE PAST FOREVER” bit. Because I’m sure that’s not gonna come up again.
  • Evil Incest Queen continues to be evil doing her usual evil crap. The shame shuffle did wonders for her.
  • I like how Hunger Girl-Boy is all zen-like now. Her storyline is a little hit or miss, but I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt because I adore Death Genie and his monotone musings.
  • Great, more people for Torture Dude to torture. KILL HIM ALREADY!!!!!!

Episode 4:

  • Bummed the Bum Legs protector woman died. Surprised? Hell nah. I’ve gotten a point where I don’t flinch with a good and/or decent character dies. But a rotten, evil character? TOTALLY surprising. Also: Please kill Torture Dude.
  • Old Man Religion is such a weirdly stupid character. Like, how the hell did he become so powerful that Evil Incest Queen has to conspire to defeat him? Uh, woman, you gave him that power. Dumbass.
  • I love how pyromania is Dragon Lady’s ultimate plan. Hot.
  • I’m not sure if we’re supposed to be impressed or concerned about Horny Willow’s diplomatic skills. ‘Cause shit goes WAAAAAY over my head.
  • I missed Hunger Girl-Boy and Death Genie. I wonder how they’re going to factor into this whole mess. Who knows.

Episode 5:

  • So you’re telling me Bum Legs and the Magic Tree People were TOTALLY SAFE? And the ONLY REASON everything WENT TO HELL was because Bum Legs stayed in dream land too long? Wow. TOTALLY DIDN’T SEE THAT HAPPENING!
  • Hodor is the new Red Rum.
  • Kinda Ironic Magic Tree People created Ice Zombies to stop humans only to get their ass kicked by them. Y’all should have really thought that shit out.
  • I always get bummed with the Magic Dogs die. Stop killing all the magic dogs!
  • Sooo… If the Ice Zombies are so goddamn strong, what the hell has been stopping them from ruling the world? That part doesn’t make sense to me.

Episode 6:

  • Chunk Dude steals a sword. That’s all I got out of his scene.
  • Bummed Hunger Girl-Boy disobeyed Death Genie. I hope that doesn’t mean we won’t see him anymore. If that’s a case, what a colossal waste of time that was. Lol!
  • I guess the Bitch Boy King is now in cahoots with the God Gang? Whatever.
  • Random Stark appears! Apparently he was in the first season or something? If so, I TOTALLY don’t remember.
  • Dragon Lady all ready to kick some ass. Good! Just kill everyone and end this show.

Episode 7:

  • Wait… So Ugly Knight didn’t die? Nor does have ANY major injuries after nearly DYING last season? In a show where a fat boy can bake a PERFECT wolf bread, I guess that makes sense.
  • For a second, I thought they were actually gonna kill Hunger Girl-Boy. Because, like I said, a halfway decent character dying isn’t surprising anymore.
  • Getting 62 dudes to fight? I loled.
  • Looking forward to watching Ugly Knight go berserk. Although it is STUPIDLY convenient he didn’t witness nor hear the slaughter. Like I said, makes sense.

Episode 8:

  • Does everyone have super healing on this show? Ugly Knight shows ZERO signs of NEARLY DYING and Hunger Girl-Boy NEARLY DIES, yet has enough strength to run around the city and then fend off a trained killer? It’s almost like stuff happens for the sake of drama or something.
  • Ugly Knight’s slaughter of the slaughter dudes was one of the best moments on this show. Total Jason Voorhee’s shit. Loved it.
  • I guess this is the end of Death Genie, eh? That’s kinda a bummer. But, honestly, he peaked a long-ass time ago.
  • Franken-Knight is so stupid. I can’t wait to see what other stupid shit they come up with.
  • No more trial by combat. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Episode 9:

  • YASSSSSS! FINALLY! TORTUE DUDE IS DEAD. ABOUT. DAMN. TIME.
  • Man, that battle was so hard to keep track of. And even though I’m happy the good guys won, the plot armor on the main characters was preposterous. Not-Orlando-Bloom should have died like 4,125 times, yet just came out covered in guts. Still, I’m happy the we got a HAPPY ending for once. But poor giant dude. He was cool.
  • Happy Dragon Lady is teaming up with Lady Lover. Now they just need to team up with Lady Voltron.

Episode 10:

  • Like previous seasons, this one climaxed before the finale and then just kinda fizzled out. Hard to top Torture Dude’s death. Still happy about that. ABOUT TIME!
  • Evil Incest Queen is somehow even eviler than before. Oh boy. She’s gonna be my new PLEASE-KILL-ALREADY character.
  • I totally don’t get how time works in this show; somehow Hunger Girl-Boy made it all the way to the Red Wedding dude with time to kill his sons, bake them, and then kill him? Sure, whatever. She rules. Disbelief suspended.
  • Looking forward to seeing Dragon Lady go nutzo next season. Kill ’em all!
  • Missed Ugly Knight in this episode. Same goes for Lady Knight. I like them both, so they better return.
  • Did I mention I’m happy Torture Dude is dead? YASSSSS!!!

What a weird season. Overall, I think I dug it, mostly because the good guys actually, gasp, WON this time around. Or at least some of them did; gotta take what you can get. Only 2 more seasons. I reckon season 8 is just gonna be 10 episodes of one REALLY long Ice Zombie battle. Can’t wait!