Oh, boy – things are getting confusing. Here’s my thoughts for Game of Thrones rest of season 1: Here we go!

Recap:

gameofthrones

Episode 4: 

  • What the HELL is going on? Seriously, help.
  • Hunger Girl continues to be my favorite character in this show. I hope she catches a cat. I’d watch a 90 minute episode of her attempting to do that.
  • What was up with that bath scene? Besides dragon talk turning women on. I gotta try this sometime. “Hey, baby – ever heard of Figment?”
  • Poor Wall Chunk.
  • Passage of time is so out of whack in this show. I have no idea when or where anything is. Captions, plz!
  • Yep, don’t need to see a joust death ever again.
  • Am I missing stuff? Prolly. So confused.

Episode 5:

  • Loved watching Hunger Girl chase a cat. Only 89 minutes too short.
  • Hunger Girl is the best character on this show. I’ll be saying that a lot.
  • Ooooh? Boy-on-boy scene? Nice. Still no dick, though.
  • The gore in this show is kinda unsettling. I’d prefer they replace the blood with confetti.
  • Ah, man – the cool bodyguard dude died? Dammit.
  • Who the hell attacked LOTR’s wife? So confused.
  • Boob-sucker is gonna be typecasted for the rest of his career.
  • Speaking of boobs, geeze – you’re making me blush here.

Episode 6:

  • Hmm… What the hell happened in this episode? They’re all blending together!
  • The creepy boob-sucking kid is like Jabba’s pet rat-thing in Return of Jedi, just somehow more annoying.
  • Is this the episode where they attacked LOTR but then he became temporary king for whatever reason? Because I’m so confused.
  • Still not liking Harry Potter Reject. Go wave a wand or something, dork!
  • The knight fight in Cloudy City made no sense to me. But I also hardly pay attention, so maybe that’s the problem? Nah. Shit still don’t make no sense.
  • Death by melted gold is 2nd favorite on-screen death behind death by kebab in Temple of Doom.

Episode 7:

  • Huh?
  • What’s going on with Not-Orland-Bloom and Wall Chunk? Like, what’s their purpose right now? And who’s ice hand did the dog bring back? WHAT IS GOING ON?
  • The fat king got killed by a pig? Sure, why not?
  • I miss Hunger Girl. What’s she up to?
  • Harry Potter Reject is now king? He should fight Boob-sucker for title of most annoying kid on this show.
  • Since I can’t read the subtitles for Barbarian Eyeliner, I have ZERO clue what he was yapping about. Presumably he was saying things like, “Rawr!” and “Argh!”
  • How many times are people gonna get betrayed or double-crossed? There should be a counter on the screen every time it happens. I’m sure it’s in the triple digits right now.

Episode 8:

  • So I TOTALLY thought the ice zombie was the bald, soft-spoken dude who I’m just gonna call “Bald Conspirer,” because that’s the only thing I know about him. They had to put that in just to confuse me, right? Right.
  • Speaking of questions, what the HELL is going on?
  • Horny Willow is a fun character. Way better than HPR.
  • Speaking of HPR, he’s the worst. Hunger Girl kills him, right? She better.
  • Sooooooo sad Hunger Girl’s teacher died. He was awesome! Hunger Girl better get a glorious revenge. I demand it!
  • Still have no idea what Barbarian Eyeliner is saying. Damm Japanese subtitles.
  • So I guess everyone is going to war or something? I dunno, man.

Episode 9: 

  • Yay! Not-Orlando-Bloom gets a sword. I would have fell out of my chair if the Zelda “item jingle” played upon receiving it.
  • Poor Barbarian Eyeliner. Please tell me he becomes an undead horse zombie. Then it becomes undead horse zombies vs. ice zombies. Best. Show. Ever.
  • Still digging Horny Willow. I hope he sticks around.
  • Those ravens seem more reliable than my cell signal.
  • WTF! They killed LOTR? Fuck this show. Now I REALLY hate HPR.
  • My prediction of Hunger Girl killing HPR increases. THIS BETTER HAPPEN. Please happen. It happens, right? NO SPOILARZ!

Episode 10:

  • Wait, whaaa – the Dragon Lady birthed a dragon baby? I SO CALLED THAT! Shame it died. Boo!
  • Speaking of death, Barbarian Eyeliner is gone, too? Life expectancy on this show is shorter than Walking Dead.
  • Hunger Girl is now Hunger Boy? Dig it. I can’t wait for her to kill HPR!
  • Despite so much crap going on in earlier episodes, the season finale kinda ended anticlimactically.  Hell, I’m having a hard time remembering any of significance happening. They really should have ended the season with LOTR’s death; drama peaked at that point.
  • HPR is a comically awful villain. And I’m not sure if I love or hate that.

Aight, that’s it – season 1 complete. I find it insane there’ still like 7-8 more seasons of this. How the hell can they keep it going? I feel like every major character will be dead by Season 2 episode 5. I guess I’ll keep watching. Expect more recaps soon! Thanks for reading.