OK, I’m back. Got how many more seasons of this show? Oh, I dunno. A lot apparently. How? But HOW? Guess I’ll find out. Let’s get into it…

Recap:

Season 2, Episode 1:

  • Wait… So the evil queen and Surfer Knight are brother and sister? And HPR is their incest son? Nasty!
  • They had Blue Angels back then? Wha?
  • Horny Willow is the best. 2nd favorite character behind Hunger Girl-Boy.
  • Last season they randomly killed an innocent horse. Now they’re killing babies? Jesus.
  • Speaking of, why where they killing random people? Did the scriptwriter just copy and paste “Knights kill random people” every few pages?
  • I can’t remember what else happened. Oh! They sure did build a dragon cage fast. That’s my final thought. Let that sink in.

Episode 2:

  • Hmm…What happened in this episode? I remember boobs. Deception. Vulgarity. Confusion. Mentions of winter and how it’s coming. So, basically, every episode so far.
  • I’m so lost with all the recruitment that’s going on right now. Some dude is recruiting a pirate. Another young dude is (I think?) trying to recruit an old dude? Or get something from him? I dunno.
  • Is this the episode where Wall Chunk wants to take the slave woman with them? Because that’s a great idea.
  • Not-Orland-Bloom got hit in the head. That’s not nice.

Episode 3:

  • NOB’s storyline is soooooo boring. People like this guy?
  • Horny Willow is a master manipulator. So much so, I have ZERO CLUE what he’s trying to do. But I’m sure it’s crafty.
  • I’m continually amazed this show is so popular with mainstream audiences. All the gratuitous sex, vulgar language, and graphic violence is overwhelming, even for me. I mean, multiple CHILDREN have been killed on this show. MULTIPLE. CHILDREN. Yet this is one of the most popular shows on television. Insane.
  • Speaking of, I hope HPR gets killed soon! Even though he wasn’t on this episode.
  • Oh, and dude-on-dude action is also super surprising, mostly because I wonder what the homophobic macho men think when they watch it. Me? I’d rather watch men go at it than watch babies get killed. MORE DUDES-ON-DUDES, LESS BLADES-IN-BABIES.
  • Hunger Girl-Boy continues to be the BEST character on this show. Her quick-thinking at the end of this episode was ace.

Episode 4: 

  • I’m SOOOO confused by all the different sides and who’s trying to aid and/or fight who. Ugh.
  • What is the point of Dragon Lady’s storyline? Why is she wandering through the desert? Did I miss something? Nah. There’s NO WAY I missed something. Uh-huh. Nope.
  • HPR is a total dick. Like, he started off as a dick, but now he’s just straight up EVIL dick. That transition is so jarring for me.
  • Horny Willow is the best. I hope he becomes a good guy, but I don’t want to see him die. He’s one of the only likable human characters.
  • Besides Hunger Girl-Boy, of course! I hope she’s OK. I need to see her kill HPR. I know it’s happening. MAKE IT HAPPEN.
  • What the hell is up with fire lady birthing a shadow demon baby? Did I miss someth… Never mind.

Episode 5:

  • Shadow demon baby kills gay king? Uh, OK. I know this show is fantastical and all (hell, there’s dragons and ICE ZOMBIES), but this just made me groan. I stop my suspension of disbelief at SHADOW DEMON BABIES.
  • I love how Hunger Girl-Boy rescued a Murder Genie: pick any person and they die. Aladdin would have gone sooooo much different if he found a Murder Genie.
  • Albino Knight is pretty cool. But the kind of cool that’s just begging for a sacrificial death. So I’ll refrain from caring too much about her.
  •  The goatee ambassador dude is the WORST. I have no idea what his purpose is nor what he’s trying to do. Just kill him already.
  • Dragon Lady gets a marriage proposal in a day? Damn, girl.
  • Not-Orlando-Bloom’s story continues to be the worst. Trudging around in the snow is a TOTAL snooze fest.
  • How did they find and train dragons to film for this show? I always wondered that.

Episode 6:

  • OK, now I’m just getting lost. Just kidding! I’m always lost. But why was the former good guy now a bad guy? Like, what?
  • So savage hostage is now savage savior? I’m cool with that.
  • HPR continues to be hilariously awful.
  • Not a fan of watching attempted rapes. Some of this shit is too much.
  • I really dig Hunger Girl-Boy’s new Death Genie. I hope he sticks around!
  • Dude, don’t go stealing dragons. Way worse than waterfalls.

Episode 7: 

  • Now people can create multiple versions of themselves? Huh?
  • Hey, Dragon Lady – Rapunzel took your dragons!
  • Surfer Knight is such a great villain. Which means it’ll be even more satisfying when he dies.
  • Hunger-Girl Boy’s deception is awesome. Even if the bad guy knows it.
  • Not-Orlando-Bloom is the worst. What a dork.
  • Wait… They didn’t really kill the 2 boys, did they? I’m thinking they burnt 2 randos because they didn’t want anyone to know they couldn’t find the real ones. But, then again, this show is so messed up, so it wouldn’t surprise if they were burned to death.

Episode 8:

  • Hah! I knew the boys were still alive. I’m so smart! I know EVERYTHING that’s going on… related to the 2 boys on the run. Everything else? No clue.
  • What is up with this Not-Orlando-Bloom storyline? He’s now a prisoner of Ice Skeletor’s eskimo gang? So over it.
  • Only in GoT can someone threaten another by harming the WHORE they LOVE. And, only in GoT, can they capture the WRONG WHORE. Lol!
  • So the mom let Surfer Knight go? Yeah, that totally makes sense. Good job making a stupid decision to create drama.
  • I really hope we haven’t seen the last of Death Genie. He’s my new favorite human after Horny Willow & Hunger Girl-Boy.
  • Can we just give Dragon Lady her dragons back? I’m sick of her complaining about it. WE GET IT! YOU WANT YOUR DRAGONS BACK. Jesus.

Episode 9:

  • Not a lot happened in this episode. Just a lot of fighting. And Incest Queen jibber-jabber.
  • Did some dude just get literally cut in half? OK.
  • I guess HPR now has a voyer, making-out-with-swords fetish. That’s new.
  • For a second, I thought Horny Willow was killed. But I reckon he’ll still be around. He’s one of the best human characters.
  • Wait… So Dad Knight just randomly shows up at the LAST SECOND and wins the battle? Eh?

Episode 10:

  • Knew Horny Willow wasn’t dead. Yet. Hope he lasts another season!
  • Dragon Lady got her dragons back. I hope she doesn’t lose them again. I don’t need another 4-5 episodes of her complaining.
  • YASSSS! Death Genie is still around. But NOOOO at him parting ways with Hunger Girl-Boy. At least it SEEMS like he’ll be back. What a rad way to get people to find you; give ’em a random coin and secret pass phrase. Way cooler than sending a text.
  • Not-Orland-Bloom’s storyline is FINALLY getting interesting. But I’m not sure how I feel about ICE ZOMBIES. Whatever.

So season 2 is done. I’ll keep watching, but I still haven’t decided if I like this show or not. Onwards to more confusion!