Here we go! Only 2 seasons left. My prediction: boobs and death. Hopefully more the former than the latter. Let’s get into it! 



Season 7, Episode 1:

  • I was legit confused when the episode started. So much so, I actually stopped the video to make sure I was watching the right season. Oh, those crafty writers. Fooled me! And the dumbasses who died from poison. Cool scene, but all I could think was, “Uh, where the hell did she get all that POISON?” I need to stop thinking logically.
  • I really dig the 10 year-old girl who just yells at people. She’s Hunger Girl-Boy’s future BFF.
  • So it seems like they’re trying to turn Surfer Knight into a good guy. I’m cool with that. I imagine him betraying Evil Incest Queen or something. Or vice versa. Actually, knowing this show, definitely the vice versa.
  • Ugly Knight is turning awesome. Which means he’s inevitably gonna have some climatic, sacrificial death or something. Prolly in the obligatory climax-of-the-season-right-before-the-season-finale episode.
  • There’s only 7 episodes this season? Well, better start killing characters! Only got 6 more chances left.

Episode 2:

  • Yep, just like I expected: MOAR DEATH. Ugh. So bummed Lady Voltron is gone. *tear*
  • That battle bugged me a bunch. Not because people died (duh – that’s this show’s gimmick). What bugged me was this: How the HELL did JoyKill build a MASSIVE FLEET after ALL OF HIS SHIPS were taken. Like, I get this is a show and we need our drama and whatnot, but that’s just preposterous. Not buying it.
  • Please don’t kill the dragons. Come on you asshole, writers – leave them alone!
  • I really hope all the women that got captured don’t get tortured. I’m so over that. OVER. IT.
  • Hunger Girl-Boy going home is nice, even if her Magic Wolf is all like, “OK, bye!”

Episode 3:

  • Oh, more torture? How about no?
  • Not-Orlando-Bloom is the worst diplomatic. “I DON’T LIKE U… BUT HELP ME FIGHT ICE ZOMBIES, PLZ!”
  • MOAR DEATHS. It’s just gonna be ravens and Ice Zombies left soon.
  • Again, how does JoyKill move his fleet so fast? Does he have a teleporter or something?
  • I don’t like how they’re nerfing Dragon Lady’s army. All the goodwill from the previous episodes are getting flushed down the crapper.
  • At least Snarky Grandma died snarking.

Episode 4:

  • Dragon Lady has the best strategy: Dragons, lulz!
  • Surfer Knight has the worst strategy: Charge straight at a DRAGON.
  • Again, do teleporters exist in this universe? If they legit made up a magic excuse for this, I’d totally buy it.
  • The Ice Zombie caveman drawings were too professionally done. I think Not-Orlando-Bloom hired freelance artists or something. Only way those make sense.
  • Hunger Girl-Boy is the best.

Episode 5:

  • If I had to choose to slightly bend my limbs to experience mild discomfort or, y’know, GET BURNED BY A GODDAMN DRAGON, I think I’m gonna go with the former.
  • Blacksmith Boy is back for the obligatory, “Oh, remember him?” cameo.
  • Totally over Goatee Guy’s scheming. Can we burn him, too?
  • So the plan is to catch a Ice Zombie? And then bring it to the Evil Incest Queen? Surely nothing can go wrong.
  • Missed opportunity: Blacksmith Boy quipping, “HAMMER TIME!” before killing the 2 guards.

Episode 6:

  • Dude, come on – ICE DRAGONS? That’s just cheating.
  • Watching this episode play out really shows how PREPOSTEROUS Not-Orlando-Bloom’s plan was. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
  • Not digging the sister drama. First time I DIDN’T like Hunger Girl-Boy.
  • Kinda touched by Dragon Lady and Not-Orland-Bloom. Just makeout already! Jesus.
  • Can’t believe there’s one more episode left in this season. NOOOOO!

Episode 7:

  • ‘Bout time Dragon Lady and Not-Orlando-Bloom went to the bone zone.
  • Seriously, though – Ice Dragon is too OP. They gotta nerf that shit.
  • I love how they couldn’t even let the audience think Evil Incest Queen was actually cooperating for a full episode. Nope. She’s bad, y’all. Did you know?
  • Ugly Knight and Franken-Knight are bros? Oh, they’re both killing each other.
  • The knee-to-the-ballz invulnerability reaction was pretty awesome.
  • Sooooo happy Goatee Guy is dead. Also happy I totally fell for the sisters hating each other. Got me again, writers!
  • The whole reveal of Not-Orlando Bloom’s lineage is waaaay over my head. I dunno, man. Just fight the Ice Zombies! That I understand.
  • Speaking of, the dragon vs. dragon battles are gonna be LIT. With fire. Because they’re dragons. Yeah.

Aight, that’s it. Enjoyed this season even though it was super short. Thanks to Caitlin, who’s the only person who reads this crap. Sad I have to wait FOREVER for final season. Looking forward to see how this nonsense ends. This will also be my final recap blog, although I’m starting to watch West World now. Gotta find many more shows to tide me over. Let the wait begin!